I guess I should get myself checked out of the hospital, huh?

I was made aware last night that I was "still in the hospital" on my blog. Oops. Been awhile, sorry. I did okay after I was released, but those last couple of days were hard. I had a lot of pain from the neulasta shots to boost my white blood count, and I felt nauseated. I was pretty discouraged and ready to go home by Monday. I literally cried when I sat down on my own couch. It was sooo good to be home again. I was able to get all the swelling down, with some improvement in what it normally looked like. I have to stay on it with the wrapping and massage though or it puffs right up. Lymphedema is such a high maintenance problem. It just gets knocked down the totem pole of importance when chemo side effects take precedence.

I had a scan last week to check on things. I had some slight shrinkage on the tumors in my liver, and everything else was stable or unchanged. So it was good news. The better news is that my doctor wants to try to keep things stable with the Avastin and Faslodex (an anti-hormonal shot) for 6 weeks or so. I mentioned this on FB, but I had a lot of shots in my booty, but this one by far topped them in the pain department. It hurt all night, like only sit on one cheek hurt, and it is still tender today. Okay, okay, I know--too much information. For the record, I do have high pain tolerance, so I am not just whining--wah, wah, wah! The doctor thinks we have gotten what we are going to get out of Taxotere right now. He seems to have a good balance of fighting the cancer and giving me quality of life. I really appreciate that about him. He has such a kind heart and he is a good doctor as far as being on top of things. We will re-check after the holidays, so I am praying for everything to behave and stay stable in the meantime.

The last couple of treatments have been the usual ups and downs of good days and bad days. Days where I am feeling crappy and tired all day and don't really get off the couch, and then days when I am up and about and getting things done. Those are not many, but there are enough of them to keep my spirits up. Hopefully there will be more of those over the holidays. The good thing is that, this last treatment, I didn't feel any nausea at all. My nurse practitioner suggest adding a prilosec at night, and that worked like a charm. She said you get more acid buildup as treatment goes on.

I am certainly looking forward to Thanksgiving. Last year, my mouth hurt horribly from the osteonecrosis in my jaw and I wasn't even feeling that well to eat. I forced myself to eat because I wanted all the yummy food so bad, but it was hard. This year, I had better wear my stretchy pants, because I plan on indulging until they have to roll me out the door. I am soo glad I don't have to worry about the preparations and I can just enjoy the goodness of it all!! I was in the store yesterday grocery shopping, something I haven't done in a coon's age, thanks to my dear husband. I passed the turkeys and for a split second, I thought--oh, turkeys, dressing, thanksgiving, I have to get busy--then I remembered--ah, I don't have to cook anything. Keep walking on, pushing my cart. Turkey day, here I come, and I am oh so grateful for that big yummy bird!!!

Grocery shopping isn't that bad, I just have trouble when it comes to the checkout line hurrying to get all my things on the belt. My left arm hasn't been quite the same since the cellulitis bought. I think the muscles are not used as much, because I baby it more now and keep it in a bent position upward. So when I go to lift something heavy with that arm, it actually hurts at the crease in my elbow, like a sore muscle. They say it is okay and can be good to lift some things with your lymphadema limb, but I wonder what the balance is.

So, blah, blah, blah, I am working on my eldest daughter's scrapbook, finally, and I am almost finished with the film portion of the pictures. Hooray!! Then on to digital. . . which is soooo much easier as it is all on the computer. I plan to do easy shutterfly-type books which are just drag and drop, so those should move okay, granted that I don't get tempted to do much editing on them. I also have some sewing projects I want to do as always. I enjoy it so much and I am grateful that my family gives me the space to work on the things that help me keep in touch with my creative side and stretch the artistic side of my mind. It brings me much joy and keeps me feeling productive as they don't take up a lot of my energy (unless I end up being tempted to stay up late at night as I am a night owl). I try to be careful. I really do. But it is so quiet, and I feel charged up to get things done when I can actually concentrate. I have much fabric in my stash now and many projected projects. Hopefully some of them will turn in to some Christmas gifts for some. Stay tuned for those. Maybe you will be a recipient, if you are related to me.

Perfect Storm

When you combine chemotherapy, lymph-edema, and low blood counts you have the perfect storm for cellulitis (a skin infection where your arm suddenly becomes very painful, red, and hot) and a ticket to the hospital. So here I am, at least until Monday.

Wednesday night at dinner, my arm was itching a bit. By bedtime it was hurting a lot and I couldn't really use it for anything. I also had the chills. I figured it was cellulitis, so I called the doctor on call (which was one of my old docs who is a deadbeat and I am VERY thankful he is one of my OLD doctors!) and he said as long as I wasn't running a fever, that I could wait to call my doctor's office in the morning. By morning I was very dizzy and felt like I would pass out when I stood up. When I finally got into the doctor, I had a fever and my arm was radiating some major heat. I felt horrible. I figured they would admit me, so I was ready with some overnight stuff that Josh had to pack for me just in case.

I love how whenever I have something weird, the docs/nurses always look at it and say how interesting it is and that they have never seen anything look like that before! I guess I am the weird one.

So the infection was/is in my bloodstream, and it can be dangerous if not treated quickly and aggressively. Basically I was told by the PA that if it ever happens again, I need to go straight to the hospital and not even bother calling the doctor on call. Okay, that is good to know.

I feel much better today, but still weak. Let's just say if you had talked to me yesterday, I was pretty grouchy! I couldn't ask for a better hospital than the Lacks Cancer Center. I can order whatever I want off of their yummy menu whenever I want it. I asked for a free massage, so I am hoping that comes through. They have that great garden and outdoor area on top of the building to "get outside" for a while. The nurses are all great, and treat me really well. So other than the yucky iv antibiotics and just not being home, I am on the upswing.

My hand is still really swollen right now, so when the infection is gone, I will hopefully be able to work on getting that back down again. The redness is getting better, but I am still really sensitive to warm things on that arm/hand. Cancer is definitely not beautifying!

Josh and the girls brought me a Starbucks and some pickles tonight. Emma grilled the nurse on everything that she was doing. She and the nurse were taking turns listening to their heartbeats. Emma says she is going to be a doctor, and I am starting to believe it. A friend had sent a lovely edible arrangement of fruits made to look like flowers. I let the girls open it and they loved helping eat all the yummy fruit! They were eating it like crazy!! I have to wear a mask while they are here as I'm considered neutropenic (no white blood cells to fight infection), so that is a bit of a pain. Maybe by tomorrow my counts will be up enough to not have to wear the mask when they visit--we'll see. We took a walk, and they ran around the outside part. There is a prayer labyrinth up there, and they ran around that whole thing until they got to the end. I bet they will sleep well tonight. Thank you to all who have helped watch the girls the last couple of days. It helps so much!

Signing off from 4422.

Night, night.

Breathe

I can breathe now.

I called today and they finally called me back late this afternoon.

Improvement in the liver, and stable in the bones.

I will know more after seeing the doc. on Thursday, but I am sure we will continue on with our current regimen.

Thanks be to God!

It's That Time Again

Just an update. I have had 3 rounds of the Taxotere now and 2 rounds of Avastin (reduces blood vessels to the tumors). So far, I have just had a touch of nausea a couple of days after treatment, but nothing that stops me from eating. My meds pretty much cover it. Tired the weekend after and the week after treatment. I start perking up a bit the 2nd week and by the 3rd week, I have been feeling pretty normal. This med has definitely been good for my quality of life, so if it is working I will definitely be very happy. I have had some touches of tingling in my fingers every once in a great while. I really need that to not get worse, as it could affect my being able to take the chemo as well.

I have scans Sept. 3rd to see if it is working. I will let you all know when I get results back.

It has been a hard summer on our little support board that we have for young women with metastatic breast cancer. We have lost four of our friends in just the past month. That doesn't even count the ones we lost early on this summer. On top of that, I have been dealing with some personal grief issues myself these past couple of days. Grief is a funny thing. I liken it to a wound that has a very, very thick scar after many years, but it is never truly gone or healed. Sometimes something will poke the wound like a quick needle stick, and it hurts a bit, but you can shake it off pretty much instantly. But sometimes, a piece of the scab will get torn off suddenly and unexpectedly, and you find yourself hurting from it. Thus you have to begin the work of cleaning it and tending it until the scab heals back in that spot.

Most of our summer has been fun. The girls and I have traveled to Kentucky and had great times seeing friends, visiting the zoo, shopping, and hanging out with family. Back home we have been to the beach, the library and the park. We are making the most of our last two weeks of summer here before school starts back Sept. 8th.

Thanks for all who pray. These upcoming scans will be a bit rough, not knowing yet if the chemo is working. I feel like it is, but the scans are the only thing that can tell.

Changes in Plans

The Wednesday I went to Ann Arbor to start my clinical trial started out as a beautiful day.  In fact it was almost too beautiful.  I even had time to stop at a Target right when it opened that morning.  That NEVER happens!  Then on to my appointment to pick up my pills and wait around until  I got a bone scan later in the day. 

Click, click, click.  Check in.  Get blood work.  Meet with the research trial nurse. Sign papers.  Meet my nurse practitioner.  Click, click, click.  Discuss side effects and how to treat them.  Chat casually. Click. Click. Click. Going to be good friends.  Have her direct number.  Check blood work.  Red flag.  Wait, wait, wait. Dr. Hayes comes in.  Liver numbers are too high.  I am now no longer eligible for the study.  Stop ride, get off.  Talks to me about other rides, but you can’t get on this one now or ever.    Dr. Hayes spoke with me at great lengths about what the course could be for me and other clinical trials, but because this trial was a safety trial, it was not safe for me to even start it with my liver numbers being high.    Somehow, they had neglected to check out my previous blood work or draw it at some point before we had gotten that far.  I still think they are a wonderful doctor team, and I would jump for the opportunity to work with them again, but for now the ride is closed.  Hopefully, they will have more rides at a later time. 

I held my composure until I reached the elevator, then I cried all the way to the car and then some.  When I could, I finally called Josh, and then tried to call my own oncologist to try to get started on our original plan.  Well, that was a whole other nightmare, where I had direct access to no one, and was very frustrated that I couldn’t just talk to someone about getting started right away.  We had waited long enough at that point.  Apparently the doc wanted to think about it and make a change.  Problem was that she was going on vacation the next week, so I would not be able to have any input or questions for her until after my treatment had already started.  We had already planned our vacation and everything around the clinical trial, and I really wanted it to work out even though we had to change courses.  So for  whatever reason, I finally get the call that the doctor has chosen for me to go on Taxotere, which is the chemo that I would have been getting with the trial.  I am fine with that.  Especially the schedule.  It is once every three weeks instead of having to go in weekly.  Less time at the hospital, and more time at home.  Always a good thing in my book.  I am going to speak to her about adding Avastin to the combo, as Dr. Hayes mentioned that we could add that if we wanted.  It is a very, very expensive drug that costs about $60,000 a year to take.  As long as my insurance will cover it, I truly believe that it works well in my case,  with minimal side effects. 

In between making all the phone calls to my office that day, I took a little trip to Ikea.  I was originally supposed to get shot up with radioactive dye and then return later for the bone scan.  Since I did not need to take that for the trial, I decided to take my trip to Ikea anyways.  I tried to eat some lunch there, but all that I could choke down was a gigantic piece of chocolate cake that they had.  I stayed within my set budget pretty much (within a few dollars—good for me J), and got a few things I wanted.  It really was good therapy.  I also went dream wandering and wrote down all the things I would do if I could refurnish my whole house.  That is kind of fun to do and dream. 

On the way home, after a rather brisk and unsympathetic call from my nurse, I broke down again.  Between the rain and my tears, it was a pretty wet 2 and a half hours home.  My friend Lila and I talked too, and she helped me a lot.  It was just such a let down, first of all.  Second of all, I got just a little taste of what good cancer treatment should look like.  Third of all, my own office was doing their best to show how opposite of that they could be that day.  I guess when you lose a potential treatment option in cases such as mine, that I feel as if I just lost a bit of time added to my life.  It can be a hard pill to swallow. 

The good sides to all of this, is that I now do not have to travel so far to get treatment.  My doctor is willing to try a single agent chemo instead of a combo, which can have less side effects, and hopefully still the same good results.  What we are praying for in my case.  I was able to enjoy our lake vacation and Katelyn’s birthday much better by not being on treatment.  I am prompted to possibly change doctors to go to the other cancer center in town where I believe they focus more on the patient and their needs.  I was originally at Lacks Cancer Center when my doctor was unable to see me there when she adopted a little boy, so I switched back in order to stick with her.  But I am at a point where, I need somewhere that will have more of a focus on the whole person like they do at Lacks.  I am trying to get in to see one of the doctors there, but he does not have openings until August.  We’ll see how that goes. 

So for now, I have had my first treatment with Taxotere, and will have another the end of July.  It hasn’t been so bad.  I was tired and slightly nauseous the first few days, but it wasn’t anything that meds couldn’t help. 

So that is the scoop for those who haven’t heard the whole saga.  Life is still good, and I am thankful for it.  

Oh, the Places You'll Go

Well, this cancer journey takes me to a lot of places, so I thought the Dr. Suess title would work here.

Almost two weeks ago, I called into the doctor to find out that there is growth on the liver again. It was kind of like going from 0 to 60 in a second as my last scan showed continued regression. To find out there was growth was obviously a bit of a shock. But, that is how cancer is. It is sneaky bad word, bad word. It is no respecter of time, person or places.

Because I called in ahead of time to find my results, I was able to process the news and take some action on my own before meeting with my doctor the next Tuesday. I made an appointment that day to meet with my doctor at U of M, Dr. Hayes, to see what his opinion might be and if there were any clinical trials available to me.

I had also been contacting some people about a trial in Rhode Island that is very promising, but it does not start until August. Although it may be an option at some point in my future, I cannot wait at this point to start treating the cancer. It would be wonderful if it truly were a cure for this awful disease.

I had my information ready and I went in to see my doctor here in GR last Tuesday. I was nervous, because I didn't know how she would be about my appt. at U of M or how she would respond to the other trials I was interested in. She is a very quiet doctor, and it is hard to read her sometimes. Prayers were answered, because she and I had the best dialogue that we have ever had since I have been seeing her. I told her about my upcoming appt., and she responded by saying she was going to suggest that I see Dr. H again to see what he might have available for the future. She also mentioned another cancer center in Detroit that may have some trials for me at some point, and gave me a doctor's name there. She said she was very open to whatever Dr. H may suggest, and we discussed further some of the new treatments that may be coming out in the future. It was so amazing as we were really on the same wavelength the entire visit, even down to my asking about my blood work about the same time she was going to look at it. It was an empowering feeling to know that not only was she just my doctor, but she truly is on my team and wants the best for me. She suggested going back on a previous combo that I have had that worked well for me if there was not anything for me at U of M. I had a return appt. with her today to discuss my findings from U of M and possibly start on the chemo.

Right after my appt., the girls and I headed to Kentucky for a fun visit with my family. We had a wonderful time, but needless to say the unknowns were swirling around my head quite a bit. I enjoyed the shopping, eating out, fish fry, my new favorite game (bag in the hole)[side note: I call it corn in the hole to be funny, but I digress], the heat--yes, the heat, and just hanging with the family.

We returned home on Monday, then yesterday afternoon I had my visit at U of M. It was originally at 2:00, but they called to see if I could do 4:00 so that they could spend more time with me. So we first met with the assistant to go over all of my previous history. It is quite impressive to see how much information they can fit on one sheet of paper. We waited quite awhile, while the assistant went to talk to "the boss" and go over my ct scans that I had brought. They finally come back in and Dr. Hayes checks me over real quick and then asks if we mind waiting while he saw his last patient, so that he could concentrate on talking with us. We moved to a bigger room (and much cooler room--I might add). I was sweating like crazy in that first exam room. Once again we all sit down, and he gives his normal spill about how every doctor "bakes the cake" differently, but they all still work. There are many different ways to do things, and Dr. Y had taken care of me well. But then, he goes on to say that the other reason I come to see them is to see if they have clinical trials available and at this point they did have one that I would be eligible for.

He goes on to describe the trial, which is based on their discovery there at U of M of what they call the breast cancer stem cells. These are not like the normal stem cells you hear about on the news. They are more like part of the tumor that feeds it. Or to use Josh's analogy which Dr. Hayes really liked, that the stem cells are like the seeds of the tumor. Without them, the tumor cannot grow. They have tested different drugs that attack these specific cells, and what they have come up with is that this certain drug, called MK-0752 combined with a chemotherapy drug, Taxotere, can be found to attack these cells. The drug has been safely used in alzheimers patients, but sadly with no benefit to them. They are testing the safety of using this drug in combination with the Taxotere. Thankfully, for me, I have always had good response to the taxane class of drugs, and the doctor feels that I would do well even if I were to use the taxotere alone. But, we are going to do this trial and try to do further damage to those tumors with this combo. The main drawback is that I will have to travel a few times a month to Ann Arbor to receive the pills and to get the chemotherapy. We feel that it is worth it as this is an open door that will add a possible ammo to my arsenal of drugs. We may need some help with getting me to and from Ann Arbor, so if anyone likes to drive cute green Saturns, feel free to let me know!

I really, really like Dr. H. His bedside manner is divine, and he is such a positive guy. He even took time to show us a rare picture of a cancer cell that very few people have seen to show us some progress being made in further research. It was amazing. He describes everything in great detail that you can understand, but he doesn't dumb it down too much either. I am happy about the prospect of more visits with him. He feels that there are a lot more options for me down the road, and that was a good thing to hear.

I still had not made a final decision until I saw my doctor today. She was very glad that he had something for me. She offered to help in any way she could either with blood work or prescribing something in case of fevers, etc. It was another good visit with her. I went back to tell my nurse, and I kind of felt like I had a winning lottery ticket or something. One person told me, "Congratulations." and my nurse said, "This is what we want for you!" She also told me she would be praying! I love her, and I will miss her a lot! So tomorrow, I will call and get my schedule to start possibly next week.

It was a good feeling to not get chemo today. I took advantage of my baby sitter and did some shopping while I was childless. Then I came home and dug in my garden awhile to plant some things dad had given me and rearrange a few things. It felt good to do some things like playing in the dirt that I know I couldn't have if I were on chemo. I will get to have lots of energy next week at the lake, and I know it will be a good time with lots of healing laughter and being surrounded with the beauty of God's creation.

So, as my dear friend Lisa says, even as she is now nearing the end of her life: "I am thankful for today."





Here are a couple of links to the trial if anyone is interested in that techinical kind of stuff:

Clinical trials site

U of M site

Scans tomorrow.

Yuck. 

The stuff you have to drink.

Yuck.

Gag, gag.  

Getting to look at the sky  and a cherry blossom tree while being pushed into a tube.  

Priceless.

The Conference

As I mentioned in my last post, I had the privilege of going to Philadelphia for a conference for women with advanced breast cancer. It was put on by LBBC (Living Beyond Breast Cancer), an organization that advocates for and educates women with breast cancer.

It was a last minute thing. I had seen the post on YSC about the conference, but I didn't pay attention to it as I knew it would probably be out of the budget for the plane fare, hotel and registration fee. I was reading through the post more carefully as more and more of the girls on the YSC board were making plans to go. I had missed the fact that you could apply for a scholarship to help defray the costs. When I saw that, I knew that I should make every effort to go, as this would be a wonderful opportunity to meet some of my online friends and re-connect with some of the ones I had already met. The unique thing about this conference is that it was specifically for women with Stage IV breast cancer or "mets" as we like to call it (short for metastatic). I applied for a scholarship on a Saturday night and I heard back on Monday that I was approved! It was a go! There ended up being about 20-25 of us going to this one conference.

I was able to get on a flight with a friend from Detroit area (Lila) going out there. I really connected with her right at the start. She is such a giving and thoughtful friend. She had a sandwich for us to share and a bag of chips for both of us as she was afraid I wouldn't have time to eat between flights. She and I laughed a lot together and had quite an adventure with some of the other girls getting to the hotel from the airport. It was so crazy all we could do was laugh! 

It is such an amazing thing to meet other women going through mets as they are the only other ones that truly, truly get what you are going through. We all come from so many walks of life: some single, some married, some married with children, different religions, backgrounds, and personalities. Yet, somehow all that does not keep us from having a strong and fierce bond with one another. The friendships and feelings I have with and for these women are so intense, that it is almost impossible to describe.

The conference itself was good as well. I really was only able to take in the workshops and speakers on Saturday as I had to leave for the airport a little earlier on Sunday. I learned a few things about how to help with side effects and such. One of the big things they talked about was acupuncture. It was interesting also to hear the reports on the latest research. I wish we could have heard a little more about my specific type of breast cancer, but it all tied together with what the speaker was talking about. It was neat to hear about new things that they are studying and treatments that are coming out.

Elizabeth Edwards was the keynote speaker for the day. I really wasn't sure what to expect from her. I have admired her for living such a public life while going through breast cancer. She truly was a pleasure to hear. She was very down to earth and very realistic. Really, it was like she was just one of the crowd. She looked as tired as all the rest of us did! She talked about things we all related to such as not wanting to get out of bed in the mornings. Sometimes you do, and sometimes you don't. She didn't really talk much about her specific disease as she does not want others to try to emulate her treatment. Everyone is so specific in how they personally respond to treatments. What works for one person will not necessarily work for the next person. She spoke about her reasoning for going public. I appreciate all of the work that she does for breast cancer research and lobbying. She talked frankly about how they are open about cancer in their family. How it is something that they all live with daily and do not try to hide from it or pretend it doesn't exist. She talked about the struggles of keeping up with her children, and how she, as we all do, still get up off the couch to see what they want even when we don't feel like we can move another muscle. She told a cute story about "the Lord's dime" from when she and her sister were little. I will try to retell it as well as possible. Basically, she and her sister were given two dimes every week right before they went to Sunday School. One was for them, and the other one was for the offering plate. Elizabeth and her sister were walking to Sunday School one day carrying their dimes. When they went to step up on the curb of the sidewalk, one of her sister's dimes fell out of her hand and rolled into a drain. Her sister then said, "Well, there goes the Lord's dime!" I think that was a cute way to think about what our priorities are in life and making sure the dime or priorities "still in our hand" are the important ones.

Anyways, I am so thankful for the opportunity to meet so many of my mets friends. They truly are all amazing women with much wisdom among them. The best times and conversations were truly in the evenings that I spent with them. They make me smile and laugh with their snarkiness and wit, and they make me cry with the pain that we all have endured and continue to endure. I have been blessed with their love and friendship.

LBBC's Conference for Women with Advanced Breast Cancer

This video was shown at the conference I attended this past weekend. I have more to share about the conference later. I have met a couple of the girls in the video. One of them was my roommate at the conference.

In honor of the Oscars. . .

--I'd like to thank everyone for their celebrating, eating chocolate, eating pickles, and rejoicing with us.*

--I'd like to thank everyone who has helped us along the way by visiting us at chemo, cleaning, cooking meals, babysitting, traveling long distances to help us, helping us monetarily, being our friends, and just praying.   

--If I started listing names I would go well over my 45 seconds!!!!   Each of you know who you are, and please know that you are appreciated more than you could ever, ever know!!!  

It is such a relief to finally have some breathing room.  The relief has definitely shown on my face!  When you start something new, it is always stressful wondering if it is working or not.  I am recovering well from chemo, so that has been nice.  My taste buds are back in full force.  I am getting stronger in that I can do more and not get so exhausted.  I have a nice "army" look growing on my noggin.  Hair is a nice thing to have!  I am just so grateful to have been given these months off of chemo.  I am praying for this to work for a good long while.    It truly is amazing that I had regression on just the pill.   It humbles me to know that I am one of the fortunate ones going through this.    I have been given more time off chemo and more life.  Thanks be to God. 

My doctor aka the parole officer (my new analogy) was very surprised with my scan results.  I am sure she didn't expect that to happen at all.  She had talked about me even doing a couple more rounds of the chemo last month when I visited her which really depressed me.  Thankfully, she waited to make that decision until after scans.   I was extra nervous because of that though.  If that wasn't enough, when I was getting the scan, the tech asked me in the middle of it if I had a history of smoking--which I don't.  They had never asked me that before that I could remember.  Needless to say, my mind kept worrying about every little ache and pain.  I would obsess over whether or not I felt any heaviness in my chest or whether I was getting short of breath.  Lets just say anxiety can cause those side effects too!  You just get more worried about little pains when you have cancer.  I figure I am out of the jailhouse when I am off chemo, but the parole officer keeps a close watch on me.  At least I am not on house arrest like Martha Stewart or something!  The problem is that Cilgamore is such a crazy, wild beast of a criminal, that we never know if it has been behaving or not.   I, of course am the innocent victim here!  :-)  The scans and tumor markers are the only way to tell its behavior.  By the way, did I tell you that my tumor marker had come down again too???  It is 39, very close to the normal range which is below 35.  Lower, lower, lower, lower, lower, lower--stomp Cilgamore lower--is the key.  (Anyone remember that song from children's church?)  The lesion is down to 4mm, down from 7mm the last time.  WooHOO!!  Also there were a few tiny, unmeasurable ones that are now gone or that look like scar tissue only.  

The pill that I am on is called an aromatase inhibitor.  It blocks all the estrogen in your body.  I actually get a shot to put me in a post-menopausal state, if you will, in order to be able to take this drug.  Unfortunately I am getting all of the side effects that people get as they get older.  I have been having quite a bit of joint pain and muscle tension.  Fatigue is also a side effect.  So, although I am feeling a lot better than I did on chemo, it hasn't been as easy as I thought it would be.  I guess I thought it would be easier because I did not have these side effects as much when I was taking Tamoxifen (another anti-estrogen type drug).  I have been having a lot of my pain in my heels of my feet.  They mainly hurt when I first get up after resting for a while or first thing in the morning--especially on the stairs.  Once I get going, they start feeling better.  I am going to see a podiatrist to see if it is plantar fasciitis.  At the very least perhaps they can help me get some inserts for my shoes or something to help.  If I walk a lot, they will hurt more.   Then there are days they just hurt and days where they don't.  The cold makes my joints worse too.   Tylenol and Ibuprofen help with the muscle aches, but not the heel thing so much.  Okay, blah, blah, blah enough complaining.  Just keeping everyone informed as to my life, right?   

I am also seeing a physical therapist 3 times a week to get help for my lymph-edema in my left arm.  It is something you can get anytime after having major surgery like a mastectomy where they remove almost all of your lymph nodes--even 6 years later.  It started this past summer due to the chemo, and I really didn't have the strength, energy, or time to deal with it while on chemo.  So, now I am trying to "catch up" on all the little things that go by the wayside--like dental appts., etc.  My hand is quite puffy, and Emma thinks I said it was a puppy.  Needless to say, ever since then I have had a permanent, make-believe toy attached to my body.  She talks to it, gives it commands, pets it and holds it.  It is quite amusing how she "loves" on the puppy.    Gotta love a child's imagination.   Hopefully her puppy will lose some weight with the therapy.  It has already helped after one week of getting it massaged and wrapping it with bandages every night.  I am getting juiced like the blueberry girl on Willy Wonka as one friend put it!  (Love ya--you know who you are! Ha, ha!!!  )

See, this is the problem when I don't post for awhile.  I end up having to play "catch-up" and type like a mad woman.  I have got to stop this habit!!  You all are going to give up and not read all my madness.  I guess my excuse is that it was a dark couple of months of recovering mixed with depression and anxiety.  Thankfully we are climbing out of that hole now.  If you read all this, you are a true friend for sure.  That is all I have to say now! 

*Yes, I am addicted to pickles,  I went out and bought the big jar of Vlasic hamburger chips from Sam's Club after my good results!  I also like to indulge occasionally on the big jar of deli pickle spears in the refrigerated section of the grocery store.  They are my "six pack" so to speak!  Ha, ha!!  They truly do make my mouth happy!  Josh even got me a jar for one of my Valentine's presents.    The other present was tickets to see Celtic Women, lest you think I was cheated out of a nice gift.

Still Here, Alive and Kicking

Sorry for the long absence.  I will try not to make myself so scarce next time!  This post is courtesy of my dear husband, Josh.  It is an e-mail to family.  It was so good, I asked to copy it.  To preface it, my oncologist ordered the scan a month earlier than I thought she would, and she was already talking more chemo before the scans.  Thus the feelings described in the e-mail!  

You've heard of waiting on pins and needles, well this past week for us has been more along the lines of swords and spears.  You see, one week ago, Amy had her first scans since she went off chemo in December '08.  Up to that point, she had been on chemo of one sort or another for 16 months.  Yeah, its about as long, if not longer, than it sounds!  Since going off chemo in December, she has been on a hormonal therapy (a pill she takes every day) that has its own line of side effects (but thankfully, not as severe as the chemo).  

But after two months of that, we did not know if it was working.  The hope was that the hormonal therapy would keep things stable at least and not allow the cancer to continue to grow or progress.  For some reason, they make us wait one week for the results so that the doc. can tell us herself and today was that day.  The week of waiting is always hard, but this one was especially difficult for all of us, especially Amy.  When we got to the doctor's office, they were busy and we waited about 45 minutes to see the doc.  Our stomachs were about to burst when finally the doctor came in our little room and gave us the scoop.

The news was  amazing actually.  We went in preparing ourselves for the worst and what we heard was that there is no further growth of the cancer and that the lesion (tumor) in her liver had actually regressed in size!  Yes, shrank, got smaller, whatever you want to say.  Well, you could've scraped our little puddle selves off the floor at that moment.  I think we were in disbelief for the first few moments as we just absorbed what was being told us.  Neither one of us wanted to think about Amy going back on chemo, but we couldn't help but go there in our minds and had prepared ourselves for what we thought was going to happen.

So, chalk it up to prayer, powerful medicine or our monthly support of shaklee, whatever you will, but we are extremely thankful today and breathing again.  Amy doesn't have to go back for another checkup for a couple of months.  So smile, kick up your heels even, whatever it is you do to celebrate, do it in honor of Amy.